Can we get on the same page? Please?

Dad's been in the hospital since Saturday. Every cardiologist that has seen him has had something different to say. Everything from "I expect you to get the LVAD ASAP." to "Here's some Prilosec. Sounds like acid reflux."

One minute our family is preparing for the possibility of surgery. The next minute  we're told these chest pains aren't even his heart.  The past few days have been such a roller coaster and  we aren't even close to being off this ride.

Please send prayers: for the Dr's to have wisdom and for some kind of clarity- sooner vs. later.

Embrace change.

I've struggled to find the time to blog, though the absence of blogging doesn't reflect the lack of having anything to blog about.

There has been many highs and lows since my last post, a birth (our third child was born in May!) and a death of a close loved one included.

Dad was being considered for a study (details here) and we found out in August that due to his current heart condition he did not qualify.  While we are disappointed, we are trusting that this door was closed for reasons beyond our understanding.

My whole life I've struggled with change. I put up a good fight, kicking and screaming (& many times crying). In this season, I'm realizing my struggle, I'm trying to embrace it. I emphasize the word trying because I have definitely not mastered this whole "embrace change" thing. In fact, just this week I had a tantrum over a work situation. I still have a lot of growing to do, but right now I first need to have those moments- those crying, kicking & screaming tantrums. Personally, they allow me to stand up, move on and embrace the change. So if you see me throwing an adult tantrum - let me. I will soon get back up and move on- embracing it all.

So much has changed since June 2012. My dad can't do everything he wants to do. He can't walk the beach with my mom up at the cottage. He can't run around and play baseball with his 11 grandkids. He can't tend to his garden like he enjoys doing. I know he struggles with these changes. I pray that when he needs to have a tantrum about his situation- he is able to, I also pray that he's able to stand up, embrace the change, and enjoy life in other ways.

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, 

move with it, and enjoy the dance." - Alan Watts

The Slippery Slope of Depression

How do you keep someone from falling into a depression?

Sometimes simply "being there" for someone just isn't enough. It breaks my heart to see my dad struggle with depression- focusing on  the things he can no longer do instead of appreciating what he can do.

:(

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

So much has happened in the past month. Where to start? Let's start and end with the most important news.

In the beginning of December my parents were told that my dad was just not bad enough. They were going to close his evaluation to get on the heart transplant list and revisit when necessary. It wasn't what we wanted to hear but we trusted God.

December 21st, my dad received a phone call from one of the heart transplant coordinators and was informed that the day prior- my dad's case came up again and the heart transplant team decided to list my dad.

My dad is officially listed for a heart transplant. His priority is low, but it was the news and hope we needed. The journey is far from over, in fact it's just beginning, but I'm happy to see it start.

Looking forward to 2013 and what God has in store for us.